This Blog is my Experiment [my side project if you will] - {the Anchor & Braille to my Anberlin}--
---'Experiment', in that, I don't really know if this/I will be consistent. Knowing myself, I doubt it. I journal enough... but making my life a public thing? I don't really know what to think of that just yet. You [little bloggy blog?, reader?, myself?]and Me? We're gonna see how it goes---through the times, both seasons of Joy and Despair, through the ordinary and extraordinary.
I'm not promising anything....so don't you go and have all sorts of Expectations of me, or at least-not yet....
Anyways.....I think the question(s) that rises to my mind when I think of what this is or what it will become, is that, "why (what for)?-why would you blog? -why if you already journal decide to put your thoughts on the INTERNET [the internet is a scary place...]? what's the purpose?"
And the answer to this question is a mystery....but I have a few thoughts.
Recently, I have realized that I am not as open with people as I thought I was....in fact, I probably come across as very superficial and shallow (and I hate both). This stems from an issue that I have been grappling with for the past week or so, having to do with relationships. There has never in my mind been something more of a mystery as that of a relationship. Relationships, as an idea, are very complex {maybe [I tend to make things more complicated than they are (I'm working on that, btw.)]} They come in every shape and size. In every color and in every texture. I mean, there is so much that goes into having a relationship with someone. i.e. how deep you want to go, expectations, gambling (taking risks), etc. - anyways, what i've come to, is that despite my confusion over all the intricacies of relationships, one thing i know is that in every relationship, you are "sharing"-- a part of yourself, a part of who you are, your thoughts, desires, fears, history, hopes for the future....even if on the most minute level---even with the guy who works the subway across the street and our limited interaction. So that's what I am doing. If nothing else, if all the world decides that they hate what/who I am, if I am rejected and made the centre of ridicule--to share with them, my life (God's Creation). That is what God has been asking me to do, recently, so, I can only but be faithful {though i fail miserably sometimes}. Hopefully, after this, nobody can say to me that I never tried to share me.
That's really all I can say to preface this 'blog'.
Oh and responses are Appreciated...but not necessarily necessary.
With all my Love,
And in the Utmost of my Genuine Sincerity,
Caleb
I feel as though I should give some shout-outs...or thank you's or what-have-you....As original as I try to be, this 'experiment' owes a lot to the people in my life, without whom, this blog would be unnecessary....
ReplyDeleteAnyways---to Chelsea, Jordan, Sarah, and Danny--for being my inspiration and purpose giving sources to this blog...
also to .... that one girl (i hate it when i forget people's names)... she told me that i needed a creative outlet, so i went out and made a blog. all thanks to her, nameless girl on my sister floor, sorry!
I really like your first post, Caleb. Blogs are such an exciting way of being extremely open without facing all of your followers face to face. I think the best thing about a blog is similar to that of a journal, a way of tracking progress over time. I like your comment on relationships. I was thinking about that a while back. The sad part is how much we limit relationships. We become so closed off that we don't make a big issue in investing in people. We try to be friends with thousands of people in small capacities when really we should be pouring into people's lives in deeper capacities (that's my allusion to the opposite of shallow - deep). Anyway. I like your blog. If you keep writing, I will read. (:
ReplyDeletei like the way your brain works.
ReplyDeletei will read, if you'll allow me.
the main reasons i wrote my blog:
1) i want to be more open with my brothers and sisters
2) it's much easier to answer the question "what's going on in your life?" this way. especially when you have a lot of people asking the same question.
3) i type faster than i write, so it's an easier journal
love you.