I have gotten a lot of feedback and almost everybody has their own opinion on this but I think its about time for me to divulge where I'm at on this issue at this point--
I think Celibacy is a lost treasure of the church. Abstinence from sex seems to be contrary to being human, at least to my non christian co-workers it is. In conversations regarding the Biblical doctrine on the sex before marriage issue, one gets raised eyebrows and dumbfounded looks (especially when you tell them that you are still a virgin, then they usually just take you as a prude). But when it comes to the church and "godly" living, singleness seems to be anathema and that confuses and frustrates me.
I am taking a class for summer school right now-Marriage and Family-and for the class we have to read this book called Real Sex by Lauren Winner. This book is so good in it's true perception of how the church and how society both relate to sex and chastity. She proposes a radical and completely biblically founded view on sex. It has changed me. I would have to say that she has put on paper and in words the forming and solidifying convictions of my heart. [okay, enough of the shameless advertising] What I last read in the book was on the topic of Chastity being a spiritual discipline. I totally agree. She likens it to fasting and taking vigil (long periods of prayer usually throughout the night). I have been increasingly desiring to participate in these spiritual exercises. She recalls the life of the ascetics (monastic lifestyle)--that word coming from a word which itself means exercise. I have been riding my bike a lot recently in hope that I can get rid of some of these extra pounds I've gained since coming to college. I've been trying to exercise my body, because its important to having a healthy body. And as I've been coming to learn for myself, exercising spiritually through the disciplines is essential to having a healthy spiritual life, and as a Christian our spiritual life cannot be divorced from our other lives [work life, home life, love (sex) life, etc.]. Asceticism has been an developing interest in me, as I have been more and more intrigued by Monasticism. Some of the greatest Church fathers were monks. So all that to say that if chastity and by extension celibacy is a discipline, why would we discourage anyone from wanting to go this route? Shouldn't we as the church encourage those who are looking into serving God wholly as Paul does? [not that you can't serve God wholly if you are married, but as it seems Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7 (read it, its good stuff) it is better to not marry]--I am just trying to figure all of this out--
I guess, what I've come to now that the class is almost over is that marriage isn't this horrible thing that I once thought it was. Marriage can be beautiful thing that grows people closer to God. I'm not as afraid of it as I once was. Still a little apprehensive, but I am willing to seriously think about it now. If I meet someone and God happens to bring us together in a relationship [He's gonna have to be pretty clear about it] I will definitely be better prepared to handle the relationship I think. But I haven't given up my other option either.
Right now I am trying to figure out what God has called me to
/1 Cor. 7:17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him./
If I am assigned a single life, so be it: amen---If I am assigned a wife and family, so be it: amen. I have faith that God is living and working things into my life in ways that are beyond my human vision. I am seeking Him in this and I am content with where I'm at. I don't know really where that is, but that's okay. Not knowing is OKAY.
Though I can agree in some portions (Be the best Christian you can be, etc, etc), I must wholly disagree with the "no sex" part. Figures, coming from me, right?
ReplyDeleteWell, let me put it this way:
Testosterone and estrogen are funny hormones. They do strange things and thus, make strange people. So I'm going to focus on the primarily male hormone of the two. Men who have an increased build up of testosterone are usually more prone to male pattern baldness, prostate cancer, abnormal testicular functions, and also mood swings of the "anger" variation. One way of releasing testosterone is by ejaculation. I'm not saying that it has to be during sex per-say, but the actual act of ejaculation tends to make men much calmer. Also, men who have increased stressful situations (such as college finals, marriage, birth of a child, struggles at work, etc) are usually within the higher percentage of men with loads of testosterone. Build ups of testosterone decrease fertility in males, seeing as sperm is usually killed by the hormone.
Now, a vow to be chaste is actually labeled via dictionary.reference.com as: 1. refraining from sexual intercourse that is regarded as contrary to morality or religion; virtuous.
2.virgin.
3.not engaging in sexual relations; celibate. [see dictionary.reference.com for more details]
Sexual relations or sexual intercourse can go many different ways according to each and every person, so let me go all the way down to the point that it includes masturbation on up.
God, in Leviticus, does not deny the NEED for sex or anything like it, he just gave a handy-dandy little cleaning list for us to follow (very detailed, mind you) should we need to have a "release". In other words, Leviticus is; "Clean up after yourself, don't eat raw meat, don't have sex with animals, blah blah blah". SEX IS OKAY AS LONG AS IT HAS A POINT >:[
TL;DR(too long; didn't read) I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: Don't become chaste, please, please. You're an intelligent human being and honestly you have pretty damn good genes, please pass them on so the rest of the world doesn't have to be retarded people from the backwoods. :(
i really like tis post Caleb. I'm not sure I know quite how to articulate what I like/agree with about it... but I just do. The spot you're at with everything sounds like a real good place to be. And I admire your honesty and forthrightness. ;]
ReplyDeleteTo the married, God reveals Himself in a redemptive way. To the single, God reveals Himself in a redemptive way. Amen.
ReplyDeletedude. i think i need to read this book.
ReplyDeleteto be honest, i've never given the sex issue much thought until this year. it just seemed like something that would:
a) eventually happen
b) will never happen, so don't worry about it
c) something grown-up and over rated, and i would never take interest in
well, as you know from my own blog, that has changed drastically. i need some guidance, but i'm really not sure where to turn.
These are great thoughts, Caleb. I took that class last semester and loved it. Did you have to read Marriage Made in Eden as well? That was one of the other books we had to read, and I thought it was amazing. I decided it was the first book on marriage that I would be completely comfortable recommending to anyone: married or not.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love bike riding. We should ride together sometime.
yeah. marriage made in eden was great. the entire class was great. and yes, just let me know when your free for riding. biking is my new favorite thing.
ReplyDelete