I think this is how it always goes though. It's kind of just the way it is. I start out with great resolve, then I get bogged down by various struggles and dilemmas.
I really want this school year to be one where I grow a lot, but as I've come to learn, growth is painful. I have been through all sorts of growing pains already through this summer. I learned a lot about what it means to be on my own, to have to rely on myself. I did receive many blessings however, through a couple at my church, as well as through growing friendships and encouragement with others. But even with these good things, I had to endure a long and difficult summer. I am grateful for it all, but I'm still not satisfied.
I want more: more substantial growth, more practical growth, more noticeable growth. I can't say that I know for whom I am growing....for God maybe, but I'm pretty Idolatrous....
I want to live how I know I ought to live... but that's a lot harder said than done.
I feel depressed. I get this way a lot, but when I'm depressed I miss out on a lot of good things. I miss out on doing good things. I miss out on being a good thing for others.
Is depression one of those things you can just will yourself out of?
I keep wishing so,
I keep hoping so,
I keep trying to live like it's so.
Caleb, When I get into a state of mind that you have described above I seek out for a word of encouragement, sometimes I do this by asking those I trust, like my wife or parents or other Christian brothers. I’m finding though that when I turn to God’s word it speaks in a way that not only meets my need for encouragement, but also fulfills areas in my heart that I didn’t even know needed to be filled. As an example, I was discouraged at work recently because of the amount of work load I was carrying each day. I had talked to my wife, but I never could get pass this feeling of discouragement. Then one morning while I was doing my devotion I opened to a verse, John 10:10 “ I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. This verse not only encouraged me for work, but took me to an understanding of enjoying my work because I have Christ in my life.
ReplyDeleteWhat I’m trying to say in regard to your current funk, is that I believe God's word speaks to your situation. Growth happens when we are obedient. Read that sentence again. 1 John 2:3 says, “By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep his commandments”. And in verse 5 its says, “ but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected”. I see these verses as an indication that keeping his commandments and word is a daily, ongoing, deliberate action that if we intentionally obey him we will come to know him, we will grow in our faith. I agree with you, as should every Christian, that this obedience is easier said than done. However, Jesus speaks in Luke 6:47-48 that “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock: and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.” Our acts of obedience are not always going to be hard, but if we are obedient when all is going well in our lives we are building a solid foundation and character that will sustain us to be obedient when the waves of life come crashing in. If we can maintain a heart of obedience we will grow in Christ. When you get out of your depressed mood, which you will, remember to keep choosing obedience.
Love,
Sam H.