Something that I'm grateful for recently the ability to cry. I think if anything, this past year broke me out of my emotional shell. For a long long time, I had a hard time getting to the point where I'd shed tears. It's like I wouldn't let myself. This year broke me - it broke me real good. It was painful, but I think more than anything I am grateful that that part of my life was opened up. I feel a little like I've been released from a tight hold that was on me. Expressing emotion is healthy - we'll just leave it at that.
My summer basically still where it was last month. Still unmoving and disappointing in regards to the things that I set out to do. I haven't accomplished much of anything that I wanted but, I think most recently, I've felt more at peace and at ease with everything. I am still anxious about having to get done everything before I graduate this next May, but I've felt God's presence more so in the past week than I did all the previous weeks of this hot dry summer.
So, I'm grateful... and encouraged. I'm thankful for my family - it's been hard learning how to be around them again, but I'm happy that I was/am here for the summer so that I could relearn how to love. It's a tough thing, loving someone... it's pretty great though. (also see "Up in the Air" with George Clooney)
I am going to continue to try being obedient because that's the only thing I'm being called to. It's scary and it goes against everything in my body, but God gives us Grace and Mercy and he will not let us be tempted more than we can handle. I know I can't do anything on the strength of my own will but rather relying on the power of Christ who sustains me I will persevere...
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