As I sit here on my bed, I listen to my roommate Daniel strum away at his guitar. Being an electric guitar, he feels that it ought to be played with his amp. And it's not that the 'music' is super loud, but it's just loud enough-loud enough to keep the room from being the restful quiet place I need before my seven hour shift tonight. But I guess the things is that I don't need it...but I guess that is what I want to talk about--learning to live with someone is learning how to make sacrifices and compromises.Its learning how to share life (and that's what I've been trying to learn for the past couple of weeks [I know that I already kinda discussed this in my first post {its just that it keeps coming up}]). I am still trying to figure out how to do that-and hopefully do that well [if that's possible].
This, however, I feel like, centers not so much on the aspect of relationships that concerns the emotional and psychological connection between people and the complications therein but more along the lines of sharing physical space with other people.
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I have had three college roommates in my life---1)Christopher---Chris was a good roommate for his part. I think the issue that i had with Chris, was that I had wrong expectations of him. Going into college, I had this expectation that I was going to make all sorts of close friends, including my roommate. While I did make friends, they weren't [and still aren't] as close or didn't grow as fast as I had wanted. I was impatient and unsatisfied when I didn't get my way, and started to feel lonely, I blamed everybody, and especially Chris. There was nothing wrong with Chris; I really liked Chris actually. But I began to resent him- and most of all when while we were on a walk back from the local Jewel-Osco he told me that he had made better friends on a different floor and was going to move in with another person. I was hurt, on a couple of levels. Not only did I feel like I wasn't good enough for him, but I wasn't good enough to make good friends with hardly anybody, on my own yet,
"is something wrong with me?" i thought...
There probably is, but I think in this case, the issue goes back to the fact that I'm not skilled in relationships, I dont make any effort to share of my life or to take a risk and put myself out there. Anyways, I looked for a new roommate and found one. A couple of weeks later, Chris comes to me and tells me that he changed his mind and wanted to stay on the floor with me. I didn't know what to do, but I told him that I had already found a new roommate. Even though he changed his mind, I still, for a whole year, resented him and his "apparent" disdain for our friendship. Now that I think back on it, I feel bad. I allowed for other guys on the floor to disrespect him and I even partook. I was a horrible friend and a horrible roommate. When he didn't meet my expectations or my picture of what I wanted from a roommate I left all Christian Love and Brotherhood on the wayside. I think Chris and I would have continued to be good roommates, if it wasn't for my blatant immaturity.
i'm sorry Chris....
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